Multi-Review Slam Jam

Over the long weekend, I got a bunch of people sending me their webcomics and asking for a review. I’m trying to get better at not just ignoring these, so let’s bang out some reviews!

Wally’s World

Homepage+Image

What’s it about: Wally is a poor farming boy who is given a watch that can bring his imagination to life

What’s good: Interesting concept, brisk pace. The art, while not technically great, nevertheless provides a lot of interesting visuals, especially in the imagination sequences. Quick and easy read.

What’s bad: There’s some wonky posing/proportions. Pace seems a little rushed in places

OhNoFood
Wally’s family not having enough food the impetus for the first chapter, and presumably future ones, but the danger is presented kind of quickly and offhand.

Random nitpick:

The Ambiguous Stranger
The Ambiguous Stranger

I don’t like this introduction shot at all. It’s not that there’s anything “wrong” with it, per se, but this is the first appearance of this weird magical character who suddenly appears with a gust of air, and he’s just standing there in a mildly odd pose (what’s up with his legs?). What am I supposed to be feeling, here?  There’s not a lot of character to this character, and nothing he does in the rest of the chapter adds much to him besides “vaguely magical old guy in a bow tie”. I can’t even give suggestions for how to get his character across stronger because I don’t know what it is.

Thoughts: A perfectly cromulent kid-friendly comic, assuming it’s not revealed that Wally is crazy or somesuch. I wasn’t really blown away by any of it, but nothing stood at as terrible. If I were giving advice, it would be to spend a bit more time thinking about little ways to let a character’s personality shine through. A lot of the secondary characters start off as types and stay there.

Eucalypt-Bits

Euclypt
Who’s a bad boy? Who’s a bad boy bad boy, whatcha gonna do?

What is it:  https://www.reddit.com/r/behindthegifs. In fact, this comic literally gets posted there as well, so good job promoting it.

What’s good: Use of gifs in in the lead-up panels are neat.

What’s bad: May actually be more generic than “Two guys on a coach talking video games”.

Thoughts: I mean, it’s a Reddit behind-the-gif comic. I don’t know what to say about it. As I write this the PUPS  comic is top of /r/behindthegifs with net 1275 upvotes, so good for you. Gag-a-day has never been my reviewing strength.

Max

Max
This kind of makes me think of One Punch Man for some reason

Thoughts: What the fuck is this

The Mummy’s Sabbatical

Mummy
When my Mummy went on sabbatical she just drank a lot and never came home

The Good: “Rocketmummy” is an awesome URL. Setka is a strong and interesting character, and an unusual one for an MC (beyond the conceits of the strip).

Also it's about a mummy and a frankenstein monster going to space in a shark and if you don't think that's the tightest shit ever get out of my face
Also it’s about a mummy and a frankenstein monster going to space in a shark and if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit ever get out of my face

The Bad: Main Character looks like the invisible man in that one porny slipshine comic I keep seeing ads for, which distracts me. Kind of veers between story and gag-a-day, leading to confusion when the first few strips establish Setka, have a set-up conversation, have Setka leave, have Setka arrive at the Lethe, and then suddenly Setka is back in the classroom to hear a joke about Frankenstein family trees.

The Nitpick:

BALLOON
Bro, you’ve got panel borders clipping your dialouge. You’re better than that, come on.

Thoughts: I like this! It’s very new, but promising. It feels like a version of Dresden Codak from an alternate dimension where Dresden Codak is good. It’s got a lot of charm to it, and I want to see more.

Rattus

I wonder which one's the protagonist.
I wonder which one’s the protagonist.

The Good: As far as I can tell, there’s only seven pages so far and the comic has a slow build start, so it’s folly to criticize the story at this point (From what I’ve seen, it actually looks pretty good). I like the concept, though. A comic starring rodents in a realistic setting is uncommon. I’m only aware of one other comic like it

The Bad: It’s Scurry

Scurry
Scurry

So you’re kind of inviting a tough comparison. But hey, we’re forged through adversity. And first thing’s first

Actual size in comic
Actual size in comic

This isn’t good. I literally can’t read this.

Clipping
There are letters bumping against the word balloon here

Your art is actually pretty good. They’re realistic, they have clear body language that feels rat-like, I can distinguish characters from each other (which normally isn’t much of a compliment, but it’s worth noting with a cast of realistically drawn rats that I don’t get confused who’s who). But the lettering. You really need to work on that as a top priority, because it’s making your comic look terrible when you have the skill to do better.

FCA
Falls Count Anywhere, my first (failed) webcomic. Art by Cody Baier, lettering by me

Lettering sucks and I hate it and I paid a guy to do it for me as fast as I could, and I promise you you’re better at art art tools than I am. There’s no excuse to be worse at it than I am. It is far and away the biggest issue with your comic.

Nitpick: As mentioned, you draw some good rats

EXTREME Shadow
Though sometimes you kind of just stop

The backgrounds are kind of just gray

Webs
Scurry, again

I realize that the comparison to Scurry is a little unfair, and I don’t think you have to paint like Mac Smith to make a good webcomic, but just the camera being such that the wall is an at angle, and a mouse coming through the hole makes it feel like an environment, instead of a backdrop. Small things like that.

Stairs
This is a pretty good shot, though.

Thoughts: I think this comic has a lot of potential, though at a mere seven pages it’s hard to judge it (I’ll confess that I might be a bit too hard on you for backgrounds), but that lettering is killing you because it makes your comic look amateurish despite your art skill.

Paradox

Paradox

The Good:

Crack
Fran is the one messaging him

This jumped out at me immediately. I really like, rather than just having “a phone”, he has a phone with a cracked screen, and his latest messages tell us what he’s like and that he has people saved as “Mega Bitch” and “Little Bitch”. I like how he doesn’t spell properly. These are details a lot of other webcomics wouldn’t think to add, and they go a long way. The characters are strong, and that helps make the story interesting during this set-up phase.

The Bad: Ordio Ordio Ordio Ordio Ordio Ordio.

You expected a review, but it was me, Ordio!
You expected a review, but it was me, Ordio!

I understand that it’s an important concept, but Jesus, “Ordio” appears like three times a page. I get it. Thank you.

Thoughts: I generally liked this comic, but the Ordio ordio ordio grated on me quite a bit. Probably more than it would on most people, but there we go.

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